How to Become Sociable

To improve your social skills, you must start with yourself. Bear in mind that you are the only one who can help. It is very good to be sociable, but you must take action and practice.

Steps

  1. Make eye contact. A sliver of self-confidence goes a long way, so try to believe in yourself.(Do not try to be a person that you are not)
  2. Talk to others around you. Ask questions, tell jokes, do whatever it takes to start a conversation.
  3. Remember the E word: Empathy! Ask people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and what they're interested in. Try to draw them out, find common interests, and sympathize with their problems.
  4. Remember the FUN!! If people think you're fun, they will enjoy your company.
  5. Put in the effort. When you are at home, call friends and talk to them on the phone.
  6. Always try to accept others' offers and invitations and be with them. Also make invitations to others; it's a good way to show people you enjoy them and they'll like you for it.
  7. Don't be by yourself all the time! If you don't know a lot of people you're around, just walk over and start talking. Most likely, they will talk back to you.
  8. Mix up your routine. Sit with different people at dinner or lunch, not just the same one or two friends. You can be more sociable this way, and around a lot more people.
  9. Be an optimist. People flock to happy people like bees gather near honey. Find ways to be happy and positive.
  10. Compliment people. It's a great conversation-starter.

Tips

  • Always believe in yourself.
  • Believe that you are exactly who you want to be.
  • Don't act stuck-up. There is a difference between confidence and snobbery.
  • Remember, being social does not mean being everyone's friend. It is okay to be selective with friends and a little cautious. It's safer that way and ensures you get quality friends, not quantity. The main test of if you should be friends is this: In general, do I feel good after being with this person? If not, your intuition is telling you something and it is time to move on.
  • Compliment other people. What you compliment them on may lead to a conversation.
  • Don't over analyze what to say before saying it. One cannot stress how important this is. Almost everything you think about saying might sound stupid to you, but it usually isn't. Just spit it out!
  • Go with the flow (but only when you feel comfortable with it!)
  • Be positive and happy which is a very attractive quality.
  • Don't fear rejection, and just believe that they don't think anything about you, or know anything about you.
  • Listen as much, if not more, than you talk. It shows you care about those around you and don't want to take control.
  • Walk up to others with a positive and cheery attitude. That shows them you're pleasant and fun to be around.

Warnings

  • Don't mimic your friends exactly. Just identify the things you find helpful, and form them into your social routine. However, do this without losing your respect for them. If you become cocky about it, over-arrogance will somehow get mixed into what you assimilate from them, and that won't be very social. Funny how that works. So respect them. They are just as good as you, in case you start to think you are better than them. This will keep your social life strong and productive.
  • Don't talk all the time just to not seem shy. This can become very annoying. Listen, then add to what the other person said.
  • Try not to talk badly about others. Some friendships share gripes with others, and other people might be the source of these gripes, but be careful not to over do it — being "catty" or nasty will usually backfire and make you less appealing.
  • Don't be afraid to act silly or funny, but know where to stop.
  • If that someone you want to be sociable to wants you to do something you know you shouldn't be doing, say something against it! Not only will this show that you have good judgment, it will show that you are confident and that you respect yourself. But be careful, and don't go extremely overboard.... but once again, know where to draw the line!
  • Another thing that helps is trying to always be honest. If your friends are having trouble in their lives, (i.e. a drug addiction) tell them about how it's affecting their lives, that is, if it's a big problem in their lives.
  • Don't always give in to peer pressure, it's a big turn-off, even if you are the most social person ever! It always leads to trouble, and if you stick out of the crowd, then people will think you are great to hang around, because you think for yourself. Choose for yourself what you think is right and wrong. People will usually like you even more because you have a back bone.
  • Do not just talk to the same gender. Only mixing with the same gender is a common problem, whereas a sociable person will interact and get along with people of any gender, ethnicity or nationality.
  • Do not ever be clingy toward someone you don't know well. You will seem less social and likeable. This is actually how to lose friends.